I have worked with many people over the years, and data is hard to come by and thus hard to work in the field, but I do know one irrefutable thing: everyone will relapse regardless of the treatment.
My present sponsor is on his 51st year of sobriety and likely not to drink today. Good chance he won't tomorrow as well but after that all bets are off as we say since it's one day at a time. He can handle the worst life can throw at him with grace including finding out he needs multiple bypass surgery now. The news runs right off his back like water off a duck's. When I ask him how he can think this way his reply was.....
"It's as simple as this, the situation is known now and is in the best possible hands- the capable doctors and medical profession we rely on. There is nothing I can do to change anything and worrying about it will bring nothing positive. I follow the directions given. Everything is perfect in God's universe and this is a positive thing- I found out of the 100% blockage in one artery and massive blockage in all the others except one. If God did not bring the feeling I should approach my doctor regarding how I was feeling then I would have likely died of heart attack not knowing the severity of my condition"
There is A LOT more he said but this is enough to elaborate a point about how he places his will and life over to the care of God as he understands him and "get the hell out of my own way" LOL. I know of many people like this however they may have 11yrs, 19yrs or 25yrs of sobriety so it's a chicken and the egg scenario as only the past can be the prover of if a person does not relapse. I do however know of many, many times more than this who do not act this way and I will do anything not to get what they have. I want what he has so I do what he does to earn it.
It boils down to willingness, honesty, open mindedness and surrender for me. A 12 step program is a program of complete honesty and that is SO difficult for me because my will, ego and personal defects of character subtly creep in without me recognizing it. I am grateful to have a program as it allows me to recognize my defects and use them to become strengths to help others instead of myself as my natural programming is selfish and self centered- the root of my problems. How I once felt things were happening to me, now I realize life happens. My life ran on self propulsion can hardly be a success as I find myself continuously in collision with something or someone. How unhappy I was- restless things were not going my way, the way I want them because that is what I wanted, irritable at things an especially people! Damn it why won't they just do what I think and tell them to- don't they realize I know so much better and things would be perfect if they just would. Discontent- how negative I thought seeing the bad in the good, never seeing the positive in a situation or circumstance. It's so simple- I am driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity so I step on the toes of people and they realiate sometimes without provocation but when I honestly think about it I did something at some time in the past based upon self, placed myself in a position to be hurt and they retaliate, and my warped mind thinks it's unprovoked!!
I was playing God trying to control and manipulate for my own selfish wants and needs. It was only when I stopped trying to play God and let him be the director in my life then and only then did I start to get relief from the prison of my own mind and true happiness started to come into my life.
I am very spiritual but not religious in anyway. I have a higher power I refer to as God of my understanding to make it easier to relate to others.
www.addictioncenter.com
