I love you, man: Why do men have such a difficult time maintaining friendships?

The weirdest thing is my best friend is someone I probably wouldn’t like if I just met him today. I have known him since kindergarten, so we are just comfortable around each other. We rarely hang out anymore, so I guess we are friends our of familiarity.
 
The Old Guy said:
It is interesting and I was just mentioning this to someone recently.

I’ve found I have very few close friends anymore. I know tons of people but have few close friends.
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Getting older sure doesn't help does it? Illness and death start cutting into those numbers on top of all the things discussed in that article. I'm lucky to have about 4 or 5 guys (I think) I could count on for anything and everything, definitely able to have those deep convos at least
 
I'm really bad for never talking to someone again once talking becomes difficult because of ppl moving away, new jobs, kids, marriage etc.

Of all the guys I have meet and become friends with, I honestly only regularly talk to 1 of them.

I'm not sure why... I think its almost a out of site out of mind thing
 
I'm also in the no-friends camp. I used to have lots of friends, but we disbanded as we got older. With work and kids the only free time I have is spent working out, doing chores and errands, and tending to the very few hobbies I have left.

I get invited to go out for drinks or a birthday here and there but I always politely decline. If I go out I want a half decent chance at getting laid, so I'm going out with my wife!
 
I have no friends.. :whistle: I've been a loner my whole life, I hung out with guys, partied and shit like that when I was in school but that was the extent of it. My wife says that was what attracted me to her, even in high school I'd never follow the pack or was influenced under peer pressure, if it was something I wanted to do I'd do it, if not I wouldn't. The thought of having a close friend that I'd confide in gives me the heeby jeebys lol.
 
faller said:
I have no friends.. :whistle: I've been a loner my whole life, I hung out with guys, partied and shit like that when I was in school but that was the extent of it. My wife says that was what attracted me to her, even in high school I'd never follow the pack or was influenced under peer pressure, if it was something I wanted to do I'd do it, if not I wouldn't. The thought of having a close friend that I'd confide in gives me the heeby jeebys lol.
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I’m a lot along the lines of you brother. Never had a ton of friends. I know a shit ton of people but I have no drive to have a lot of close friends.

I have a couple guys that it could be a year since we talked but they’ll stop by have a couple beers like no time passed. Other than that it’s not something I need to validate myself.

Years of working security in the bars completely killed my enjoyment of going out for drinks. Anyone who knows me personally knows that if you want to hang out have a couple drinks to just come to my house and bring some steaks.
 
I have one best friend. We're pretty close. But we say shit we need to hear instead of things we want to hear sometimes. That's what I like about him.

We share the same values. Ideas towards our marriages etc. Sure we disagree. We piss each other off.

But I'd trust him with my life.
 
I also have very few friends. more by choice then anything. all my friends live far away from me and I seldom see them.
and to me friend is a very casual term. friends are people you talk to now and then. now if your talking brothers then yes I have individuals I consider a brother. A brother is someone I would call on if if in need. A friend is not someone I would call on if in need.
 
Taureau said:
I also have very few friends. more by choice then anything. all my friends live far away from me and I seldom see them.
and to me friend is a very casual term. friends are people you talk to now and then. now if your talking brothers then yes I have individuals I consider a brother. A brother is someone I would call on if if in need. A friend is not someone I would call on if in need.
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Oddly enough my best friend is a brother... Masonically speaking of course.
 
Having a friend is a large commitment of resources, especially time.
When I was in school I had lots of friends pretty much knew everyone, like Faller did my own thing.
But once work started and marriage, so on it ended.
Truthfully I miss not having someone to talk to, certain things you can’t talk to your wife about. But shit on here there is a few guys I would talk to for advice, so that is all that’s really needed.
Last weekend neighbour down the road invited me over, we got along great, said we should do this again (we were drunk) he said sure, everyday. Anyhow I havnt bothered dropping by again. I don’t have time for everyday.
 
Friends in the context that the article is talking about I have none. I had them when I was younger but after highshool with jobs, eventually a wife, and kids coming along we just drifted apart. I had 2 very close friends in HS. One I had known since grade 3 and the other one we met in grade 10. We did everything together from working out, partying, to going on tripple dates with our girlfriends. We liked pretty much all the same things. After HS one joined the Forces right away. In the 30+ years since we have seen each other maybe about a dozen times...maybe. My other friend and I both eventually joined the forces too but it was several years later and we did it at different times. That friend and I both ended up living out in BC while in the Navy. Even shared a place together for a while. Eventually we both got out of the forces. He remained in BC and I returned to Ontario. Now both of those friends are living in BC. They dont see each other very often at all. All 3 of us are friends on FB and largely keep with with each other but we really are not a part of each others lives. The other thing that made it tough to maintain friendships beside from moving away because of the military I have moved away from this part of Canada several times an lived in other parts or not in Canada at all.
 
Sorbate said:
Having a friend is a large commitment of resources, especially time.
When I was in school I had lots of friends pretty much knew everyone, like Faller did my own thing.
But once work started and marriage, so on it ended.
Truthfully I miss not having someone to talk to, certain things you can’t talk to your wife about. But shit on here there is a few guys I would talk to for advice, so that is all that’s really needed.
Last weekend neighbour down the road invited me over, we got along great, said we should do this again (we were drunk) he said sure, everyday. Anyhow I havnt bothered dropping by again. I don’t have time for everyday.
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That is exactly the main reason I have one friend lol... I can bitch about everything to my wife, but I can't bitch about my wife to my wife.

I do have a couple guys I go fishing, hunting, camping with... but truthfully the last couple years I've opted to go alone most times.

Nothing like finally getting a full day to yourself to go fishing and have it wrecked by a douche bag guy... Didn't bother me until I had kids and "free days" became fee and far between.
 
Durk said:
The worse part of being married is family play dates. When my wife has her friends and their kids and husbands over and I get shit from her every time for not being social enough lol. I somehow half to automatically turn into the guys best friend.
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lol... I don't do play dates with my kids.. My wife will take them to her girl friends who have kids.. I stay home..
 
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