My is always the phone, like one time I was walking down the street and I pull out my phone to find a good song and I ran straight into the pole while bunch of cars are driving by looking at me very embarrassing. The second time same situation while hiking pulling up my phone from the pocket to find a good song and ran into the tree very painful.
TOP 10 WORST THINGS EVER LIST
- Thread starter Furius_Saturninus_Plautia
- Start date
.Fucking a chick in a dirty ass and getting shit up to your dick resulting in a bladder infection
I think you’re just not fucking the right chicks
Fuck one that eats real clean. You’ll never have that problem again 
My GF has this "old family heirloom" chest that probably is 300 years old. Has beaten metal corners that are MOSTLY dull...except for the one I've surgically opened my shins on about ten times while going to take a piss in the middle of the night. I have really good night vision so I don't turn the lights on but every six months or so, I forget about that damn chest in our bedroom between my side of the bed and the bathroom/toilet.
Fucking a chick and feeling the condom break about 2 squirts after you had sped up pounding to finish both you off and then spending half a month wondering/calculating what your child support is going to be if your shit swims in time
Having a shit so big that you're pole vaulting inside the toilet bowl. Shit literally right to the bottom of the bowl connected with some still inside your ass. Then realizing that even as you move your ass to break it that it's never going to go down the toilet without god's intervention or serious work with a plunger. You consider actually getting a wad of toilet paper to pull your shit out of the toilet to throw out in the garbage vs fighting the toilet.
I had a coworker in my early twenties who got crabs in the short beard on his face from oral sex with an infected woman
Getting rear-ended by someone on a cell phone at a stoplight into the oncoming traffic (that just barely misses you)
Fucking a chick and feeling the condom break about 2 squirts after you had sped up pounding to finish both you off and then spending half a month wondering/calculating what your child support is going to be if your shit swims in time
Having a shit so big that you're pole vaulting inside the toilet bowl. Shit literally right to the bottom of the bowl connected with some still inside your ass. Then realizing that even as you move your ass to break it that it's never going to go down the toilet without god's intervention or serious work with a plunger. You consider actually getting a wad of toilet paper to pull your shit out of the toilet to throw out in the garbage vs fighting the toilet.
I had a coworker in my early twenties who got crabs in the short beard on his face from oral sex with an infected woman
Getting rear-ended by someone on a cell phone at a stoplight into the oncoming traffic (that just barely misses you)
That's what anal douche is for if she or he wants to be clean. For uptight women, they don't know that the set of nerves that start at their clitorises, go around their vaginal opening, through their premium(which is why rubbing the skin between her ass and vagina feels so good) and all the way to her ass. The same group of nerves literally go from front to back and done properly with a mind not afraid of a little mess, it's actually pretty frigging good for all. Women are much more linked mentally to their sexual activities (men are more physical) so if there's fear of "finding something" or of being torn to hell (compare a large bowel movement...not many men are going to be that big nor force themselves in that quickly unless they're predators). If her mind isn't into it, it'll always be a bad experience for her. Take time for her to relax..
I think you’re just not fucking the right chicks
Lastly, lube lube and then maybe a bit more lube. The God of Anal Sex loves tp drink lube by the gallon. There won't ever be a drop of moisture secreted by her or you there and using just saliva is a joke unless you have a small weinor so lube rocks.
To add to the list: old injuries that come back to haunt you as you get older.
In your teens and 20's you do all this crazy stuff, get badly hurt, you dont care, it heals, you keep it up, and you never think you'll actually pay for it later.
Then later comes, late 30's onward. Things get sore and reinjure easily. Shoulder pops out on a cough or sneeze, lower back seizes up on a wrong move, ankle soreness can actually predict bad weather (how does that work?). You start to wonder if all those concussions may have negatively affected your IQ (most likely). And so on...
In your teens and 20's you do all this crazy stuff, get badly hurt, you dont care, it heals, you keep it up, and you never think you'll actually pay for it later.
Then later comes, late 30's onward. Things get sore and reinjure easily. Shoulder pops out on a cough or sneeze, lower back seizes up on a wrong move, ankle soreness can actually predict bad weather (how does that work?). You start to wonder if all those concussions may have negatively affected your IQ (most likely). And so on...
Yup, downtown Edmonton on a regular basis. Drive over em...Mirrors or no mirrors. speed bumps.Lmfao epic!!!! Sooooo true
Were you on the couch distracting them 4 or 5 times while the poor guys were trying to work??
lolol jk
Hopefully thoseb strengtheners work. Just ordered set off Amazon.
Sitting down on the toilet downstairs bathroom and having #2 and realizing you have no toilet paper and have nobody in the household to bring you toilet paper 
then have to run with your pants down all the way upstairs while the door windows are open for some toilet paper jest praying & hoping the neighbors didn’t see anything.
then have to run with your pants down all the way upstairs while the door windows are open for some toilet paper jest praying & hoping the neighbors didn’t see anything.
The worst is running with a dirty ass though. The rest of it is all bad but the mental feelings of walking with crap on your ass and your cheeks are just grinding it in...oh man...NASTY!Sitting down on the toilet downstairs bathroom and having #2 and realizing you have no toilet paper and have nobody in the household to bring you toilet paper
That’s horrible I couldn’t do with! I have to have my coffee certain way every morning if I don’t I feel miserable
Imagine waking up, pooping, seeing you have no TP in that bathroom annndd you ran out of coffee last night?That’s horrible I couldn’t do with! I have to have my coffee certain way every morning if I don’t I feel miserable
Taureau
Administrator
sorry if you have ever been caught short tp you would learn your lesson
I always check before I start. especially if stuck going in a public washroom or at someone's house
so that part would never happen to me
I definitely learned my lesson lol I even keep extra toilet paper rolls in the closet by the downstairs bathroom just in case
