So you're North Korea. They've banned you from selling anything so what do you do because you're run by a psychotic scumbag? Read inside.

[LePsyber]

It has changed for sure. But still a lot of old values can be instilled, which are not anymore and that’s the fault of the parents, and society, that was decided on by the same parents.

I have to explain simple things to the kids at work all the time.

One kid beat on his dads truck so much doing burn outs and such and was whining he had to buy new tires for his dads truck. I told him he was lucky and my dad would have kicked my ass for that. Then I said to him. “But you were the one that burned them off not your dad, I think you got off easy”, he groaned, yeah you are right.

My grandson has it so easier chore wise than I had. Before when I asked for help he groaned, flopped around damn it was annoying. So since there is no school he is stuck at work in the morning, so has has become my official hamburger patty box filler and maker. Oh the groaning was so bad at first it tortured me, but he’s getting better now.

We need to install better values.

Thats just It! Once upon a time, doing nothing would result in a whole lot of starving to death.

We're making him do a lot of chores around the house and like your grandson, there's been improvement. The largest problem is the job/getting out. Man at 18 I wanted out of my mother's house so fucking bad it was ridiculous. Hes been conditioned at his fuckhead mothers that "aww buddy you failed, we'll get it next time" so much that hes damaged and entitled. No long term look for a career and no thoughts that hey...shit...there is no next time. I need to get shit done now.

 

[Sorbate]

Thats just It! Once upon a time, doing nothing would result in a whole lot of starving to death.

We're making him do a lot of chores around the house and like your grandson, there's been improvement. The largest problem is the job/getting out. Man at 18 I wanted out of my mother's house so fucking bad it was ridiculous. Hes been conditioned at his fuckhead mothers that "aww buddy you failed, we'll get it next time" so much that hes damaged and entitled. No long term look for a career and no thoughts that hey...shit...there is no next time. I need to get shit done now.

Good luck, when you are a hard ass type who just goes and does it, fear or not, it’s hard to understand why others, especially your blood can’t be the same.
In hindsight I should have went to councilling with my stepson, but I never thought of that at the time. Until I talked to Bagua on here I didn’t have a positive opinion about that line of work.
Now my stepson is so far gone there is nothing I can do. His thought process is gone.

 

[LePsyber]

Maybe he really needs medical help. You may need to go as well. For real. Talk to him, explain that you cannot understand how you are frustrated and maybe having an outside person help will be beneficial. It would likely be coved under your benefits.(assuming you still get benefits, I know the guys not get benefits for life)
If there is no dependency issues, that likely would be the key.
Hopefully they don’t just put him on meds. Hopefully they can teach him to deal with how he feels and the world in a positive way.
I’d bet not feeling wanted around the house after his mom ditched him isn’t helping either.
You may have not been the same as me, but I was not overly happy when my grandson moved in. He had to, but it really disrupted my life. I didn’t mean to but I know I took it out on him.
My wife would always remind me that it wasn’t his fault his parents sucked sand that he needed us, and how he turns out now is a reflection of what we do.

Yes, we've been down the suicidal route but obviously I've seen a bunch of suicidal. They have a look and he doesn't have it.
He's depressed for sure but we're on a waiting list for a psych. And yes, drugs for life thank God.

Thanks again for your suggestions. They're backing me away from a bad situation. Its weird how I dealt with this so much and the solution seemed so easy but when its yourself, its not so damn easy.

 

[LePsyber]

Good luck, when you are a hard ass type who just goes and does it, fear or not, it’s hard to understand why others, especially your blood can’t be the same.
In hindsight I should have went to councilling with my stepson, but I never thought of that at the time. Until I talked to Bagua on here I didn’t have a positive opinion about that line of work.
Now my stepson is so far gone there is nothing I can do. His thought process is gone.

Lol you really are psychic!

There's no doubt I'm hard on him but she was much too soft on him. Even with the failures I know better than put him down and crush him...I saw too much of that.
My personal problem was a chain of command I spent over half my life under. I just did it because i was told to. If there were questions asked, they were to make the plan better but there was no mistaking that I was taking orders.

Its hard as hell to break out of downstreaming that but you're right, when you think about it, I'm part of the problem too.

 

[Sorbate]

Lol you really are psychic!

There's no doubt I'm hard on him but she was much too soft on him. Even with the failures I know better than put him down and crush him...I saw too much of that.
My personal problem was a chain of command I spent over half my life under. I just did it because i was told to. If there were questions asked, they were to make the plan better but there was no mistaking that I was taking orders.

Its hard as hell to break out of downstreaming that but you're right, when you think about it, I'm part of the problem too.

Naw, just a good guesser. I am strong in common sense, lol.
Can you actually talk to him?
And you have to explain to the girlfriend that when she took on you, she took on your child. He will be gone in a few years, but no point in making things tougher, she will look at you funny for changing your mind, lol.
Anyhow I gotta do some work today and burn off this hangover, lol.

 

[LePsyber]

Naw, just a good guesser. I am strong in common sense, lol.
Can you actually talk to him?
And you have to explain to the girlfriend that when she took on you, she took on your child. He will be gone in a few years, but no point in making things tougher, she will look at you funny for changing your mind, lol.
Anyhow I gotta do some work today and burn off this hangover, lol.

Lol good luck.