Done

It takes courage to reach out and I applaud you for it. I’ve been in recovery for nearly 6 years now and in my experience what you are going through is quite common and normal.
I self medicated with alcohol and when that was gone so was my coping mechanism - such as it was - it worked great right up until it didn’t. I got to a dark place and reached out to AA. Many people go through provincial or private rehab - that wasn’t my experience but I’ve heard very good things about it. It’s entirely your call but talking about it is huge - congrats for reaching out.
 
Spekoli said:
I wouldn't normally open up like this but I'm getting pretty concerned and don't have anyone to really talk to.
I'm very introverted as is and have pretty much pushed away everyone over the years when I go through depressive cycles

Brief backstory:
Major depression since my teens, diagnosed in my 30s and categorized as severe, and have moderate anxiety issues.

I've always drank, sporadic binge drinking since I was young, but became an every day thing after some marital shit around 2013. Wasn't too long after that, I started to fall off of the lifting lifestyle, and it just progressed from there.
Daily consumption was very high, but at a surface level I maintained function. No issues keeping and doing well at my job kinda thing.

It has started affecting my health and I had enough of feeling like shit every day so I quit.
That was over a month ago and I'm doing fine with it, no concerns at all about relapsing.

I'm feeling great physically which is a nice change. I'm starting to work out again and having some interests and ambition return.
However, I'm in a very bad place mentally. Dark, dark place, extremely negative towards myself. I've been somewhat like this before, many times, but not to the degree I'm experiencing now. I've actually ceased functioning normally at this point. It's consuming me.

Anyone been through anything similar? I'll see a dr. eventually but not sure what they can do other than say things I already know or prescribe tranquilizers
Click to expand...
If you are running gear, I would reduce to trt levels. That could be effecting you.
 
Spekoli said:
I wouldn't normally open up like this but I'm getting pretty concerned and don't have anyone to really talk to.
I'm very introverted as is and have pretty much pushed away everyone over the years when I go through depressive cycles

Brief backstory:
Major depression since my teens, diagnosed in my 30s and categorized as severe, and have moderate anxiety issues.

I've always drank, sporadic binge drinking since I was young, but became an every day thing after some marital shit around 2013. Wasn't too long after that, I started to fall off of the lifting lifestyle, and it just progressed from there.
Daily consumption was very high, but at a surface level I maintained function. No issues keeping and doing well at my job kinda thing.

It has started affecting my health and I had enough of feeling like shit every day so I quit.
That was over a month ago and I'm doing fine with it, no concerns at all about relapsing.

I'm feeling great physically which is a nice change. I'm starting to work out again and having some interests and ambition return.
However, I'm in a very bad place mentally. Dark, dark place, extremely negative towards myself. I've been somewhat like this before, many times, but not to the degree I'm experiencing now. I've actually ceased functioning normally at this point. It's consuming me.

Anyone been through anything similar? I'll see a dr. eventually but not sure what they can do other than say things I already know or prescribe tranquilizers
Click to expand...
Have you ever done any types of treatment? I know your dried out now but that's not everything. When I sobered up I went to a regular rehab for 28 days then 6 months later I went back for a 2 week program. This program is for co-dependency and any other issue that might of led to the drinking and drugs in the first place. I highly recommend it to anyone. I even have friends who didn't use drugs or alcohol and went to the program they just loved it. So that's what I would suggest as well as any and every plan your doctor or psychiatrist would suggest medication wise
 
My thoughts and prayers are with u brother thanks for reaching out I hope you keep connecting with people here. Also if you want to know anymore about the program I mentioned just say so.
 
I respect that you reached out and hope that you find the help you need brother.

I am going through similar things right now and like mentioned earlier, my coping mechanism(s) are gone. Music and just going somewhere alone like a park and breathing hard and deep and trying to hear the birds and feel the wind on my skin is helping me. Exercising and cutting out sugars has made me feel good. I drown myself in academic work and if I’m working I would learn things inside out. Basically, keeping my mind occupied has helped me. I have gone to CAMH at one of my worst states and they made me wait 4 hours while I was going through major withdrawals, went and overdosed right after I left. I’ve been on my own since trying to substitute one thing for another. Finally I’m here just like you at a state where I’m about to lose it. Get help, definitely. But I’ve tried and even my shrink is popping crushed up adderall in front of me thinking I don’t notice. I’ve lost all hope in therapy and the so called “professionals”. I did a major sobering up in 2013 and it lasted until 2018. I had goals to achieve. That made the biggest difference. And getting rid of the environment that reminded me of using as well as ditching the so called friends.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top